What are your thoughts on males who behave like females?

Dear John,

I’m an extremely effeminate (not to the point of transgenderism) homosexual man, and I was wondering: What are your thoughts on males who behave like females (wearing make-up, into fashion, etc.)? Sometimes, I feel that God does not like the way I am. So would you say I should change, even though this comes naturally for me?

The only reason you should change is if not changing is causing you too much pain or grief. If you’re getting regularly beaten up for wearing make-up, I’d advise you to quit wearing make-up. I’m no conformist. But I want you to stay safe. If staying safe means adjusting some of what you do, then … then that’s life. We all do that.

That said, screw changing to please others. If anyone has a problem with your being who you are, then they can develop their own personality. The world needs men who predominantly exhibit stereotypically feminine behavior, and women who predominantly exhibit stereotypical male behavior. Why? Because people who do that—people like you—are showing all of us how we, too, might live into the joyfully expansive totality of who we really are.

People such as yourself are the heroes of our society. You’re leading us to a fuller, richer understanding of what it means to be human.

Back when I was in high school, all juniors were given a state-mandated aptitude test. The results were supposed to indicate those careers for which each of us was most naturally suited. The boys’ test was printed on blue paper, the girls’ test on pink.

When we got our tests back, all my buddies and me gathered together to learn of the career options available to us, which seemed countless: we might, we discovered, be doctors, engineers, pilots, scientists, attorneys, and so on.

When the girls got their tests back, they found that they had exactly three career possibilities. Depending on how they tested, they might be more or less suited for employment as a nurse, a secretary, or a school teacher.

That was it. According to the State of California, no female was suited for any job beyond those three.

That was in 1971.

You, my friend, are part of the movement of people who are evolving us past those kinds of ruinous, cruel, long-held stereotypes. By modeling what personal freedom looks like, you’re helping all of us to create a better future for ourselves and our children. Simply by virtue of having the courage to be yourself, you are teaching us that no behavior, thought process, or natural inclination is exclusively “male” or “female”—that everything always contains elements of both.

And for that ongoing lesson, I, and sane people everywhere, thank you.

And you don’t have to worry about whether or not God is okay with your being and living exactly as you were created. After all, the Bible tells us that Adam and Eve were BOTH created in God’s image. So it’s a safe bet that God is not just pleased with you, but delighted. How could He/She feel any other way?

If you painted a beautiful picture in the most vibrantly wonderful colors, would you then want that picture shown in only black and white?

Of course you wouldn’t.

You’d want that wonderful creation to shine, just the way it was made.