A woman wrote to share with me that, in all ways but legally, she is equally married to both a man and a woman. I asked her if she would be willing to let me interview her about that. At first she was reticent–but, as she put it, “the opportunity to share with others a glimpse into our life is too good to pass up.” So here’s our interview. [Read more…]
Should I break up with the man I love because he’s an alcoholic?
Dear John,
I wanted to ask your opinion on being in a relationship with an alcoholic. I fell in love with a man before realizing that’s what he is. Now, because of his drinking, I am about ready to move on. He is a good man: generous, kind, creative, industrious, open, encouraging, never critical or harsh to me. Except for his prodigious alcohol consumption, he also takes good care of himself. [Read more…]
6 Things to Know About Sexual Abuse and Forgiveness
Dear John,
Now in my early 30s, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. My brother, seven years my senior, regularly abused me, from when I was around five years old through when I was twelve. So many people who know my story — especially my pastor and friends from my church — tell me that I should forgive my brother, that I can’t really heal from what he did to me until I do. I know that (especially as a Christian) I’m supposed to always forgive. But do I really have to forgive my brother for what he did for me?
Dear John: My husband’s suicide was my fault
Dear John,
What happens when you do something that you can’t get forgiveness for? My husband committed suicide two years, three months and four days ago. He needed me, and I wasn’t there for him. I pushed him away — and he couldn’t hold on. I left him at the precise moment he needed me the most. [Read more…]
15 Ways to Stay Sane Caring for an Elderly Parent
One of the most emotionally complex and difficult things a person can experience is taking care of an elderly parent. I recently spent time tending to my aging, widowed father, and thought I’d pass along these fifteen points, each of which I found to be significantly helpful during this phase of my own life. [Read more…]